Should A Aspiring Content Creator Pal Stop Using People for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?